- Music:Sway- The Perishers
I got to thinking about the old days. I think a song reminded me of some crap I thought I'd just about forgotten about. Now I'm all nostalgic and it's kind of sad, and kind of nice. I looked up a couple old friends up on google (but not in an extensive, stalkery way). I only found one of the few I tried, and he was the first picture on the search. He has his own site and it looks like he's doing really well. I almost want to say hi and ask if he hears from any of the others, but I think that ship has sailed and it's probably too late to reconnect.
On a different tangent.
I wish the direction my life was taking felt more right...I don't really know where I'm headed. I am in Limbo. I know a lot of people my age right now are going through the same thing. It's scary, being lost in apathy and indecision.
Work is crap, but tolerable most of the time. I haven't been happy in a while, so it feels like I'm back in highschool or at my old job. I really need friends right now, but I'm kind of on my own--even though I usually have people around me. I just want someone I can talk to, instead of worrying myself to death and vasselating over something so trivial as THE REST OF MY LIFE. I listen all the time. I'm always the listener. Good god I am always the patient, insightful observer.
I need a bloody muse. I could use a man. And I sure as hell want to have some fun. I deserve these things.../people. They don't have to be unrelated. I'll settle for an inspirational fuck with a friend. The fun is implied.
No one comes to mind. Need to meet some new people. Note to self: get a job where there are more than 3 other people around, who aren't old (or babies), and some of whom are actually male (what a thought!). On second thought, don't get involved with coworkers. Have worked with some really messed up people. Just fucking meet some new people.
- Mood:
exanimate - Music:Fireflies-Owl City/Another Heart Calls-AAR feat.the Pierces/Imitosis-Andrew Bird
I have the reflexes of a two-toed sloth (as opposed to a three-toed sloth? *shrug*) and the grace of a rabid ferret, so I am very used to bloody knees and purple ankles. Such is life.
What's a little thing you do every day that brightens the lives of those around you? Sponsored by Nature Made |
;-D
even if it seems like a very long time ago, i think i did get to experience what it feels like. it's like when you're very small and christmas presents are still such a big deal to you...you feel a rush everytime you think about the things you've asked for that you just know you'll get; even so the suspense is exhilerating.
when you first meet someone that you just click with you get that feeling. you want to wait by the phone for them, check your emails. you're afraid to show too much of yourself but want to learn all about them. it's like electricity when you finally see them again, like you've been kept apart for decades and now you're meeting again in the airport and it's the most amazing reunion. even though you just saw them yesterday.
you forget for a little while to analyze everything so deeply, like whether you want them, or just want to be wanted. and you get a buzz out of the fact that you're starting to know that they do want you.
Don't EVEN get me started on cell phone-wielding dickheads that somehow managed to claw their way into the same movie theatre I happened to choose and sat next to me even though there were rows of empty seats. One woman LITERALLY was flipping through her phone's address book and calling and/or texting each and every individual on it two seats away from me. Sometimes I come so close to grabbing the phone and crushing it underfoot. What jury would convict me?!
Sorry. Whoo, I feel better. Ok, then.
- Music:Masochist- Ingrid Michaelson
Oh wow, this is tough.. I think maybe Sandra Bullock, 
Jenny Lewis,
or Gina Torres
I don't really know what I'd be into, but I admire these women and think they're all gorgeous, talented, intelligent ladies.
**Edit** I just thought of 2 more since I am apparently such a closet lesbian.
Tina Fey (duh! how could I forget her?)
and Rosario Dawson
- Music:Adventures in Solitude- The New Pornographers/ Pachad- Yael Naim
I've definitely found a few white hairs in the past two days, and that's a little disturbing. I'm 24. I just hope it doesn't go the way of Anderson Cooper before I'm 30. It's a nice look for him, but it looks a little more out of place on a young woman. I kind of hate the thought of dying my hair just to hide that it's gone prematurely white. At least it's blonde with very light highlights, so I'm the only one to notice so far. I've always been told my hair color is really unusual and pretty, and [while I am NOT generally vain] I would hate to make it some fake bottle-blonde color. Maybe if it did go all white I would just leave it. I could style it like Chi from Chobits, haha. I don't really want to find out until I'm at least 45. ;D
I just watched "Nights in Rodanthe" a little bit ago. Bluh. It's like Nicholas Sparks wrote it while impersonating Nicholas Sparks. So many cliches. I KNEW the guy had to die in the end. Just a matter of how. Such an over-indulgent mopey sobby chick flick. It IS slightly better than any of the ones lately that have to do with weddings. Wedding-related chick flicks are the most demeaning, belittling movies to women-- they completely underestimate what a woman wants in a film and become a veritable check-list of tried and true cliches. Such garbage! I think the all-time worst I've ever seen has to be "The Wedding Date." And I know women who liked it! Even loved it! That is a real shame. Even when it comes to stories involving romance, a little realism and substance here and there doesn't hurt--it enhances the story. And the humor doesn't need to be goody-goody soccer mom or church picnic brand humor, either. Do film execs hoping to market to a primarily female audience think we are really so limited? Not all of us read those trashy harlequins with Fabio on the cover. I dare say many of us wouldn't be caught dead with one.
- Music:Nilleshna- Lisa Gerrard/ Is This Real?- Lisa Hall
2. Doesn't like animals
3. No sense of humor
4. Not opinionated
5. Angry drunk
6. Total slacker or shut- in who wants to be taken care of. I'm not your mom, Freud would have a field day with you.
7. Thinks we HAVE to get married and have kids to be fulfilled
You can probably tell that some of this hints at some past experiences. : P
- Music:Sleepless- The Decemberists
Ah, another great thing about being a religion-less heathen---I don't have to worry about giving up indulgences for 40 days in the name of Jesus. I'm sure he was a swell guy, though. I don't see the point in giving up things like chocolate (since I don't eat it super often, anyway, why not treat myself when I can?) or sex (if it's not to the point where it's keeping you from having a normal and productive life, what's wrong with it?). I don't understand withholding things you enjoy in the name of some dead guy. Sorry. Maybe somebody can patronizingly explain it to the sinful pagan.
- Mood:
predatory - Music:Do You Know What I'm Seeing? (alt)-- Panic! At The Disco
People always name a list of cliches when they think they know what their past lives were. "I was a priestess in Ancient Greece!" "I was a runaway slave when Jackson was president!" Whatever. Not impressed.
If you believe in a soul, the essence of someone distinct from their body that survives and must go somewhere after the body's death, reincarnation is as good an explanation as any. I do not believe in a God/ Supreme Being, and reincarnation (while a bit of a stretch) seems more probable to me.
While it's difficult to try to frame the hereafter in scientific terms, I am of an analytical mind. I figure that the human soul would be composed of some sort of energy. The energy that makes us alive. And those of us who were'nt home-schooled all know that energy cannot be created or destroyed. It must go somewhere. It must be transferred. So what happens to the "alive-ness" of us when we die? Is that what ghosts are? Do we leave behind haunted footprints of ourselves, or move to another plane or dimension of existence? Or does our energy move into another husk, another body? We can only guess.
Sometimes I feel like an old soul. Like I've had lifetimes of experiences both wonderful and horrific. Not those of queens or saints or celebrities, but just other perspectives from other times. Maybe it's why I feel so close to animals. Maybe I've been a few. But I think we fool ourselves easily and want to create cloudy memories from a different life. Call it a coping strategy or a mechanism to help us identify with others. It's like how we fool ourselves into believing we can remember our own births. We can't, but we think we can imagine what it was like just enough that we start to believe the fantasy.
- Music:Eagle on a Pole-Conor Oberst/ Home-Foo Fighters/ Are You Lightning-Nada Surf
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Neptune City- Nicole Atkins
- Music:The Only One- Evanescence
between weekends i live
pass the hours pass the days,
in suspended animation
time is blurred, lines are fuzzy
and i travel through it in sublime ignorance
of how long it has been so
sometimes i wake up for a razor-edged moment
and panic at the thought that time could run out
and wonder what comes next
when will someone come get me and shake me awake
because i don't think i can do it alone
- Music:Ashes and Wine- A Fine Frenzy/ Imitosis- Andrew Bird
- Music:Milk- Garbage
1. What is your name?
Jenny
"An amazing, beautiful, caring, creative girl. She is the epitome of a goddess, and anyone would kill to have her. She can do anything she sets her mind to, and she's wonderful.
Wow! Jenny's pretty awesome. "
aww, stop. no really, stop!
aww, stop. no really, stop!
2. What is your age?
24
"24, The Jack Bauer Power Hour. The most entertainment you can stuff into a single day. Full of twists, turns, violence, and Elisha Cuthbert.
I had all kinds of work to do, but I decided to watch 24 instead. "
3. What is your bf/gf's name?
n/a
"not applicable
(filling out a form...if u dun have one)
email address: n/a "
email address: n/a "
4. What should you be doing?
going to bed.
"telling people during a party that you're going to sleep but rarely end up in a bed "
5. What is your favorite color?
green
"yes... it is most definitely referring to the marijuana... and also, upon occassion, any substance with similar uses. too, properly, of course, it is a golfing term, but that's really not very much fun, now is it? "
6. Where were you born?
Clarksville
"One of the realest cities in Tennessee, Not far from Nashville & It's about to overtake Chattanooga in population.
Person 1: Yo, You going to clarksvegas (Clarksville) tonight?
Person 2: Hell Yea, Sallee's is gonna be poppin tonight! "
7. What month were you born in?
September
"A wonderful month when the air smells sweet and the weather is perfect for the girls to wear tight little sweaters that show off their curves."
8. Who is the last person you talked to?
Emmy
"The act of making out with a chick and splooging your pants. "
HAHA
9. What is one of your nicknames?
Jen
"a nickname for blow, cocaine, or the white devil.
Person 2: Hell Yea, Sallee's is gonna be poppin tonight! "
7. What month were you born in?
September
"A wonderful month when the air smells sweet and the weather is perfect for the girls to wear tight little sweaters that show off their curves."
8. Who is the last person you talked to?
Emmy
"The act of making out with a chick and splooging your pants. "
HAHA
9. What is one of your nicknames?
Jen
"a nickname for blow, cocaine, or the white devil.
yoo are we chillin with jen tonight "
Ok I really have no good excuse to be up, not even that I can't sleep--because I'm sure I can. Got stuff to do tomorrow. Out.
- Mood: sleepy
- Music:Just Like Heaven- Katie Melua/ Up All Night- Counting Crows
- Music:Foux Du Fafa- Flight of the Conchords/ Ode to LRC- Band of Horses
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